introspection

Lately I've been asking myself a lot of questions.

If I believe every person born is bears the image of God, how does that shape the way I interact with every person I meet in a day? For some reason, I tend to react to the injustice I see with an injustice of my own. I see how the poor continue to be oppressed, so I marginalize and loathe the rich. I see how the "unpopular" are ridiculed, so I find "acceptable" ways of ridiculing the popular. I see this reaction all around me, and somehow I'm not comforted to know I'm not the only culprit. Even though I disagree with the liturgy to which patriots worship and the sacrifice of human blood to the god of imperialism, I have a gut feeling that I'm joining the ranks of hate if I disrespect the worshipers as people. Fallen people, I grant, but am I not also fallen?

I want to be just as pleased to shake the hand of President Bush as the hand of my African-American housing-project-dwelling friend.

echos

like voices in an empty parking garage
they ricochet around my soul

echos
echos
echos

echos of voices

wails of starving children
screams of raped women
garbled mutterings of the drugged and drunk
loving words of shackled Christ-followers
laughter of those whose hearts are breaking
silence of soldiers trained to kill

echos
echos
echos

like voices in an empty parking garage
they ricochet around my soul

rainbow confetti from graffiti
on the grimy concrete floor

establishing ownership

I still can hardly believe I'm here at Faith Builders, although I think there's sufficient evidence to support the theory. Every so often, I notice my reflection in the window by my desk and think "Oh, my word. I am actually Faith Builders' receptionist." It makes me laugh. The hilarity is balanced somewhat by a very real sense that I really am meant to be here.

So far, this week has consisted of training, meetings, and interviews. I anticipate being much more comfortable with the actual position than the training process. Today was the first day I assumed responsibility for answering phones, which was by far the most intimidating aspect of my responsibilities. :) Let me just say that I have an aversion to complicated phone systems and having to broadcast my voice over the entire premises. :) While I was still in my bunk this morning, I burrowed completely under my blanket and did some desperate praying for help and confidence! I know I have some strange phobias, but the first time I had to transfer a call, I nearly panicked! This afternoon went much more smoothly, thank God.

Oh, and I also had time today to redecorate the office and a display in the hall outside the office. Being creative kinda fed my artist soul and also helped tremendously in making this feel like MY office... establishing ownership and a sense of belonging here.

Amazed

You breathe like wind
Through my despair
In this earth, the rain
Of hope is rare
And I wonder if
You're just a dream
Are you really
As You seem?

I am amazed, Lord