ciao

The front office is cleaned and devoid of any evidence I ever inhabited it. My dorm room is nearing the same state. My car is a bonanza of books, clothes, plants, artwork, and even the Eiffel Tower. ;) I am so ready to be back in the city. So many places wait to be revisited, so many people with whom to be reunited... and yet I leave so much behind. I already miss the dear people who made my stay here at Faith Builders so beautiful and my life so rich. Life is change and change is life, a constant ebb and flow of joys and losses. Thank you, Father, for both.

leavings, happenings, & readings

Ladies and gents, this is me and five of the most amazing girls in the whole wide world without end, forever and ever, amen. (Front row: Rose Mary, April, me, Lisa. Back row: Emily, Amy.) I couldn't have asked for a better mentoring group. The sad thing is that it feels that we're just getting to the good part, and the year is over. These girls have seen me act super goofy. They have seen me cry. They have taught me so much about God's unconditional love for me as they loved me through some of the most difficult months of my life. They have entrusted me with their dreams and sorrows. I love you, dear girls!





And here's to Dorm 3! ("Whaaat? Dooooorm THREE!") Leann, Joanne, Emily, me, and Ruth Anna... I have no clue what like at FB would have been without Sunday morning "coffee party, coffee party, COFFEE PARTY!" and late-night talks and pedicures! Shoot, I hate saying good-bye! Can you honestly imagine what it will be like after Jesus returns to heal the earth? Can you imagine never having to let go again? A huge part of me wants to just hold onto the next week and not let go, but time is too intangible to restrain. (That's probably a mercy, actually.)





After this crazy week, we'll be on choir tour. Yay! Happiness!





After choir tour, I'll have to say good-bye to almost everyone and stay at FB. Suffice it to say that is not going to be fun. After a lonely week here (in which I plan to visit one last time the haunts around here in which I'll leave pieces of my soul), I'll move back to my dear Lancaster city! (And the ghetto girl in me does a "yeh-yeh, yeah!") I can't wait to spend time wid kids on my block and be back with my youth group!


In the course of this past week my family has experienced a significant growth, three new members being welcomed with open arms. My family of books, to be specific. After displaying a monumental show of discipline in the abstaining from the procuring of books for three entire months (I'm sorry about the glare in your eyes; that would just be my halo), I bought The Shack and Surprised by Hope. I'd borrowed and read The Shack this past winter, but I want to read it again. It's a phenomenal look at humanity, God, suffering, and love. I keenly identified with Mack's misconceptions about God. It's a beautiful and deeply moving book. Surprised by Hope, by N.T Wright is a refreshing and renewing look at the reality of the Kingdom of God in the earth today and the incredible implications the resurrection of Jesus has for both humans and the rest of God's good creation. Parts of the book were assigned readings for Melvin Lehman's "Kingdom of God" class I took during Winter Term, and the excerpts I devoured far from satiated my appetite. ;) The reality of Redemption and the part we as Kingdom citizens are invited to play excites me and energizes me. Wright is incredibly insightful, and I can't wait to read the book from fore to aft. And, today, Irene gave those of us in her mentoring group The Incredible Journey of Edward Tulane. Ruth Anna read an excerpt from it to us girls one evening. It's the story of how Edward Tulane, an entirely self-absorbed china rabbit, learned how to return love. Technically, it could be a kids' book, but I was extremely touched by the calamities (such as being snatched from the little girl that dearly loved him, stripped of all his clothes, excepting his hat, and being thrown into the ocean where he would have drowned had he been able to do so before a fisherman rescued him, only to be later buried in trash and hung by his ears) that befell Edward to open his selfish heart. After he had finally learned to love and experienced the pain that loving and losing entails (not even the hint of a pun here, of course), he determined never to love again. A china doll told him he might as well jump off the shelf on which he was sitting in the doll store if he was determined to live such a hollow existence. "Someone will come for you," she said. Once Edward began to hope, someone did... and it was the person he never dared imagine would come.

happy things

• [happy thing #1] Julie, Laura, and I went on a jaunty galavant last evening, doing a photoshoot in Meadville for their graduation pictures. I rediscovered how much I love photography... and how much practice I need. Hmmm... maybe when I'm big I can afford a Canon Rebel like the one Lisa so graciously loaned me for the evening. :) I'm not a pro, but we had fun.

• [happy thing #2] I made a grand discovery: http://www.mpix.com/ . They offer metallic paper for prints, cool things like gallery wraps, photobooks... amazing quality for meager prices. I will definitely be using them again.

• [happy thing #3] Almost every Saturday, on my explorations of Meadville, I buy flowers from a lady who sets up a stand by the Market. Meadville is such a romantic town, pardon my sentimentality. In two words, shabby grandeur. Cobbled streets, trees, old buildings regally wearing the tatters of their previous glory, wrought-iron streetlights... I am going to leave a piece of my soul in Meadville when I go home. (But I was talking about happy things, right?) One of the pussy-willow branches I bought a few weeks ago has rooted! I'll have to pot it until I have a place to plant it, but I have always wanted a pussy-willow tree. Happiness and excitement. :)

• [happy thing #4] This evening, the students and volunteers who are NOT deserting FB for the weekend are going up to Erie to play sand volleyball, watch the sun go down, and revel in God's amazingness.

• [happy thing #5] Tomorrow I am going to Ohio with Bekah and Lisa in a desperate attempt to spend as much time together as possible before we part... and in the afternoon I am planning on meeting with T. Alan Kirk, a local artist whom I have come to greatly admire. These websites offer a small taste of what he does: http://talankirk.com/ and http://meadvilleart.com/default.asp#Artists .

• [happy thing #6] Tim has offered me the dream-come-true opportunity of having my own art show in July, so we're meeting to formulate a publicity profile the event. I can still hardly believe I'm doing this!! A big shout-out to God for making this happen and to my friends who have more than encouraged me every step of the way! :D One of these days, I want to scan some of my drawings and post them on here for your criticism. Oh, and Jemglyn has told me what she did about her dilemma, so I shall have plenty of blog fodder...

My heart is so full.

Faith Builders Choir, Spring '09

Front Row (L to R): Director Brandon Mullet, Esther Yoder, Jean Coblentz, Marla Stoltzfus, Rose Mary Nisly, Davin Martin, Amy Gingerich, Leann Lauver, Ruth Anna Kuhns, Lanita Hess

Row 2: Twila Stoner, Jordan Miller, Emily Turner, Johann Butikofer, Laverne Glick, April Stoltzfus, Brenda Kuhns, Carl Shaum, Byron Yoder, Heather Martin, Lisa Miller

Row 3: Chris Miller, Lynell Nolt, Lisa Martin, John Goertzen, Josh Nisley, Laura Calancea, Diana Riehl, Josh Coblentz, Dwight Yoder, Joel Butikofer

Row 4: Rebekah Rolan, Yours Truly, Tim Miller, Art Detweiler, Yvonne Lapp, Diane Petroski, Javan Lapp, Dennis Yoder, Julie Stoltzfus, Joanne Meyers, Gideon Yutzy

an Exploration of Travel Alternatives

I have a problem. I would love to go home this weekend. No, that's not the problem. The problem is that I need a mode of transportation that is easy, fast, and does not require funds or the use of a vehicle.

With brain-storm clouds billowing overhead, I have been exploring alternate modes of transportation:

1) Mental Travmosis, the process whereby distance, space, and time are conquered through a concentration of violently stalwart mental exertion

2) Email Attachmentality, a relatively simple procedure into which one's physicality is decoded into data which can be attached to an email much like a mere document. Upon the email's arrival at its destination, the data is downloaded and reconstructed to return one to bodily form.

In the midst of my explorations, I was, by Chris Miller, introduced to a truly superior alternative. Study carefully this detailed chart, containing an astonishing explication of the Highly Complex Transportation System:

I think you, dear readers, will agree that change is coming. Can we remedy the irksome confinements of our deceptively unavoidable reliance upon vehicles? Yes, we can!

Overheard...

...in the FB cafeteria.

Person A: (inspecting book just received in mail) makes comment on chapter on the non-violence of Jesus

Person B: "Jesus was non-violent? I thought He was a radical freak."

Person C: "It was His non-violence that MADE Him a radical freak."

open your eyes

He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.

-Albert Einstein

Back at FB. Or, rather, Post-Vacation.

If you had 5 1/2 to 6 hours to spend any way you wanted, I know you would love to spend them on a solitary voyage through the asphalt rivers that network my home state. No, you're right... I would hesitate to rank it highest on my list of Delights and Aspirations. But, nonetheless, I have grown to tolerate and even enjoy that stark waste of time we term "driving". It's quite ridiculous, if you give it any thought whatsoever.... bound, of your own free will, to a seat, pushing rectangular objects with your feet, turning a round thing right and left with your hands, and either glancing about constantly or gazing fixedly ahead (depending here upon your state of consciousness) for hours at a time. I still find it both frustrating and highly amusing that we humans have yet to conquer space and time; we, like the rest of creatures created, have to scurry about on Earth's crust in order to arrive at our desired destinations. Oh, but I was saying I have learned to enjoy the scurrying part. After a very enjoyable and very peopled vacation (if the fact that your sisters need to take turns sitting beside you at the table to avoid the huge injustice of one person getting deprived one occasion to sit beside you... and the fact that you are never lacking for places to go because there is no way you could spend time at coffee shops with all the friends you would love to talk to... and the fact of your having to pick the dog up every time you set foot into the house because she is going into joyful contortions at your return from wherever you were... don't make you feel loved, you have a problem), it was rather nice to have several hours of solitude. One slight problem is that you might get tired of your own thoughts. That, my friends, is the purpose of Music. Even then, you might get bored. Also, you might begin to be enveloped by warm, comfy thoughts on the subject of Sleep. In that case, you'd better stop for a mad dash through a swirling, bitterly icy gale into a gas station to procure the cup of coffee requisite to your continued journey. Which I did. Make a mad dash through a swirling, bitterly icy gale into a gas station to procure the sup of coffee requisite to my continued journey, that is. This is what ensued:

I noticed that the 20-something African-American guy behind the counter eyed me in a somewhat thoughtful, slightly mystified manner. Upon my arrival at the counter to slide a bit of plastic through a machine to make the coffee legally mine (another practice I find peculiar, this buying and selling bit... but I shall spare you the ramblings), he asked, "May I ask you a question?"

"Absolutely."

"Are you allowed to date outside your... ummm... circles?"

(Oh, please! But, somehow, he seems more genuinely interested in ONLY the question than some others.) "That's a personal choice; we aren't forbidden, but yeah, it's a personal choice."

"Oh. 'Cause I heard that you people aren't allowed to date black guys."

"Oh, yes we are! Um, actually I have black friends and one of my white friends is marrying a black guy."

"Oh. So do you usually have sex before you're married?"

(Here I would have weirded out if his face would not have been the face of a sincere questioner.) "No, I personally believe that is wrong."

"Then how will you know if you work together? Could you stay married to someone that it just didn't work with?"

(Oh, God... help me show him what love really is!) "Well, to me, love is being willing to risk and give up anything for the sake of the other person and caring more about that person than your own pleasure." (Shoot. That sounded simplistic. But how else could I say it?)

His expression changed to one of awe. He said something about that being worth the wait, and I, hoping I'd given him a glimpse into the heart of a Jesus-follower and wondering if I should say more (but not really into lengthening the conversation), left.

Wow, you never know what kind of question you're going to be asked when you look like you're marching to the beat of a different drummer! You also never know when a simple act, like stopping at a gas station for coffee, is an opportunity to connect with one of your fellow Image-bearers. I pray that there was something about me that reminded this guy of a Man he had never met.

Christmas w/ my FB family

This post is especially for you, Kathy! :) You've been asking for pictures, sooo... here you are! It took nearly an age to upload these with the slow connection I have, so please enjoy them. ;) This is the Christmas party we had a few nights ago... lots of food, singing, stories, and lollipops.

I must concede that I cannot take credit for any of these pictures. Thanks, Emily, for capturing these moments for us! And thanks to everyone at FB... you all are a part of my heart. It's amazing to have a family this big. You are living examples of the Love that came down at Christmas.

YAAAAYY!!!!

The intention of this post is to make insanely jealous those of my friends who live in areas deprived of magic.

WE HAVE SNOW!!! *

I walked, rather than drove, to the Post Office for the sheer joy of being alone in a falling white world. Snow clung to my hair and eyelashes like diamonds, including me in the transformation of everything in sight.

*more snow than Lancaster County had the whole of last winter :D

how?

This morning, for the first time since my arrival, I didn't want to be here. I didn't feel very "how", to quote Eeyore. (Someone asks Eeyore, "How are you?" Eeyore shakes his grey head sadly and replies, "Not very how.") I had fallen asleep while reading Tom Sawyer and awoke this morning with contacts nearly adhered to my eyeballs and no time to go running with Diana. The students and most of the VSers left to spend the day in Pittsburgh hearing Dr. J. Dudley Woodberry (a Professor of Islamic Studies) lecture on subjects most interesting and pertinent. So... it's empty and quiet around here and I wanted badly to go along but was too proud to bother anyone by asking them to substitute for me. Stinks when you have nothing but your own inhibitions to thank for your disappointments. I went for the mail, trying valiantly to feel neither sorry for, or entirely despising of, myself. And, lo and behold, sorting the mail with lots of packages and envelopes addressed to everyone else produced an envelope addressed to ME! A totally cute card from Barbara with lots of writing inside and an outside that said "You are fabulous... and if you ever forget that, read this again".

You're an angel, Barbara.

communion

I had communion at the Post Office this morning.

I'd finally finished stuffing, labeling, and sealing all one hundred sixty-four packages of catalogs. Manhandling the three tubs full of packages into the Taurus was another adventure. I was mentally dissing myself for being such a wuss and thinking they were heavy when I discovered that each package weighed 1.01 lbs. Do the math.

While I was making my second trip into the P.O. with a tub, another car pulled in. A rarity in this small town. The middle-aged lady stomped out her cig and slammed the door of her rust-spotted truck. We exchanged good-mornings and she seemed pleased when I commented on the two Jack Russels bounding around the interior of the truck, ricocheting off the windows and barking devoutly. Inside, she brushed off my apology at her having to wait so long to be waited on (my mailing took half an hour to process with the level of technology granted a Post Office of so little consequence) with "No, I don't mind. I have to stack wood when I get back home, so this is great." She grabbed another Sharpie and helped me write "media mail" on all the packages (a Post Office of so little consequence does not own a stamp of the sort). And we talked. She's trying to sue her credit card company. She canned tomatoes yesterday. I should never buy furniture from a company downtown because it's inferior quality. The lazy boy she bought from them keeps breaking down. She used to work in an office. "Thank you for calling me a lady! No one ever calls me that."

I'm rich

This post is dedicated to those of you who read this site to see how and what I'm doing rather than what I'm thinking. :)

This past weekend was great! Julie and I left FB soon after supper on Friday evening and headed for Ski Denton. Due to the not-so-tragic tragedy of Janelle's impending hitching ceremony this weekend, those few of us who remain from the "Seven from Heaven" deeply felt the need for one last party. Getting to Ski Denton was almost a feat in itself because of sundry detours and poorly-marked exits. Hey, we did very well! We only turned around twice. Oh, it was good to see those girls again! There is nothing like telling jokes that no one else would think funny, drinking beer and watching movies (as Janelle would say, "henk-henk"), being with Amanda again after her long sojourn at Hillcrest, rolling around on the floor laughing, crying and praying with each other, chiding Bessie for her need to periodically drop everything she's doing and gaze upon pictures of herself and a very blue-eyed recent development (it's so good to see her in love again!), getting Bessie to tell how Jesse asked her to date him, getting Janelle to tell how Joe asked her to marry him (I can NOT believe we're this old!), and being un-apologetically uncouth and honest. I can't really put words to how my friends bless me. You guys are the best, and that's that. (Oh, and in case you, the reader, are scandalized over the whole drinking beer and watching movies bit, don't worry. It's an old joke involving birch beer.)

Getting back to FB was great, too. We walked up to Brubakers' on Saturday evening and helped them landscape. Doing some manual labor and getting dirty for a chance felt so good! I am really very fortunate to be in this place with these people. They're pretty incredible, in my opinion.

I'm rich.

establishing ownership

I still can hardly believe I'm here at Faith Builders, although I think there's sufficient evidence to support the theory. Every so often, I notice my reflection in the window by my desk and think "Oh, my word. I am actually Faith Builders' receptionist." It makes me laugh. The hilarity is balanced somewhat by a very real sense that I really am meant to be here.

So far, this week has consisted of training, meetings, and interviews. I anticipate being much more comfortable with the actual position than the training process. Today was the first day I assumed responsibility for answering phones, which was by far the most intimidating aspect of my responsibilities. :) Let me just say that I have an aversion to complicated phone systems and having to broadcast my voice over the entire premises. :) While I was still in my bunk this morning, I burrowed completely under my blanket and did some desperate praying for help and confidence! I know I have some strange phobias, but the first time I had to transfer a call, I nearly panicked! This afternoon went much more smoothly, thank God.

Oh, and I also had time today to redecorate the office and a display in the hall outside the office. Being creative kinda fed my artist soul and also helped tremendously in making this feel like MY office... establishing ownership and a sense of belonging here.