something wonderful

Sometimes, 

in the face of all that is twisted, broken, painful, and wrong,

the bravest act of worship is

celebration

of all that is right and good and wonderful and whole.

Something wonderful will happen today.

Look for it.

Smile in recognition.

Celebrate it with abandon.

Things I'm Learning

Truth isn't always found in the corners of logic, although truth contains logic. 



No matter the issue... political or non-... SOMEONE'S life, 

in very personal, 

very vulnerable ways, 

is labeled for other people to discuss with no regard for 

their experience or emotions. 



We learn best from people when we know we're equal to them 

and cared about by them. 


Even controversial conversations are important, 

but no one was ever argued into the Kingdom... or much else. 


Relationships are where the best, 

most important, 

and most life-giving conversations happen.

beautiful

"For beautiful eyes,

look for the good in others;

for beautiful lips,

speak only words of kindness;

and for poise,

walk with the knowledge that 

you are never alone."

-Audrey Hepburn 

Life is Art

"I think everything in life is art.

What you do.

How you dress.

The way you love someone,

and how you talk.

Your smile and your personality.

What you believe in,

and all your dreams.

The way you drink your tea.

How you decorate your home or party.

Your grocery list.

The food you make.

How your writing looks.

And the way you feel.

Life is art."

-author unknown

[Also, broiled grapefruit is nice for brunch.]

about coffee...

“Coffee is far more than a beverage. It is an invitation to life, disguised as a cup of warm liquid. It’s a trumpet wake-up call or a gentle rousing hand on your shoulder…Coffee is an experience, an offer, a rite of passage, a good excuse to get together.”

-Nicole Johnson, Fresh Brewed Life

Strength of Character

“It requires great strength of character for a woman to be gentle in an age that screams for her to do otherwise.” -unknown

(Thanks to my friend Shaunda and her little Christopher for being the subjects of this snapshot.)

Morning Inspiration

"Good is stronger than evil.

Love is stronger than hate.

Light is stronger than darkness.

Life is stronger than death.

Victory is ours through Him who loved us."

-a prayer of Desmond Tutu

(I shot this picture at the beautiful convent that witnessed The Taking of Anthony and Jess's wedding pictures on Saturday. I felt like I was in Rivendell.)

Baby Detweiler

This whole thing of my best friends becoming parents... 

It's a bit dizzying. 

Somewhat breathtaking.

Completely amazing. 

Especially when you have years of shared history and got to witness first-hand the whole falling-in-love that transpired before the phone call that said, "Becca! I make babies; what's your superpower?" 

You can see a few more shots of Art, Lisa, and baby Detweiler if you click here.

A Case for Sabbaths

I was on vacation with a group of friends who have had the best adventures together since we were fifteen years old. Let's just say there are few inhibitions among us. At some point during the evening, I fell asleep. I do remember finding it impossible to stay awake. For the rest, I had to rely on their confessions and my sore muscles. Apparently the night was still young and I had made a mumbled promise to rejoin the fun after "sleeping half an hour". They, being the great friends they are, decided to take me at my word when a much longer time had passed and I remained comatose. I'm told they pulled me out of the bed, and I hit the floor without stirring. Or reacting to their varied and imaginative waking techniques. (I am just grateful no one filmed it. They still laugh too hard at the memory to tell me everything that transpired.) Um. Yeah. That probably isn't normal. Neither the unresponsive state or my friends. (Hey, guys. You know I love you.)

I have this problem. I confuse physical and emotional energy. If I would enjoy doing something, I say "of COURSE I'll do it!" and assume I'll have time and physical energy. And I enjoy a great many things and adore doing things for people and have far too many interests. So I throw myself at them all simultaneously. And I knock myself out sometimes. Literally.

Partly through sheer necessity and partly through other people's examples and encouragement, I think I might be starting to learn a few things.

We human creatures, fearfully and wonderfully made though we are, are not invincible.

We need rest. Hard work gives us the honorable pride of working with God in ordering and blessing His world. But we aren't valued according to our output. We aren't machines. Work is an invitation to dignity and fulfillment, not a struggle for worth and value.

Knowing your limitations and saying "no" or asking for help is a sign of maturity. That's what my friend Carla said. I think it's also a sign of humility. Because admitting I have limitations is brutally hard on my pride. (I am a Yoder. I pretend I'm invincible. It's what we do.) 

It is possible to say "no". Hard. But possible. I was talking to my dad about all this and concluded, "I think I need to learn how to say 'no'." His immediate reply? "It starts with a 'n' sound, and then a long 'ooooooh'." Yes. Noted. And I thought of this explication the following day and actually utilized it. 

Interdependence fosters community. When I rush around, trying to do everything myself, insisting on procuring my own resources, I deprive myself of precious connection with other people. 

God integrated times of Sabbath from the dawn of the world because He knows us and wants us to thrive. Because I work the majority of weekends, I have a tendency to forget to fully rest. I'm fortunate to still be able to attend church most Sundays, even if I work, which is refreshing and invigorating... but when my days off roll around, it's the middle of the week and I'm in get-stuff-done mode... and after a while I start to feel depleted and realize I haven't taken a whole day of Sabbath for a long time. I've been grabbing snatches of solitude by eating a meal on a tree stump between projects and talking to God while I'm driving and reading Scripture while I'm at work while I drink my coffee in the wee quiet moments before I wake my girls. All of that is meaningful and adds life and magic to the day, but never taking an entire day to relax and just be with God makes me start to feel (to quote the venerable Bilbo Baggins) "Thin... sort of... stretched. Like butter, scraped over too much bread." 

I need to change, and I think I've made a start.

Hopefully someday soon I'll be able to wake and defend myself against my friends. 

Dirty Hands

The news this morning was a fist in the gut. I stared aghast at the screen, my mind doing those little spasms of unreality. The amount of suffering contained in just one of many news reports just blew right past my level of comprehension.

The families of the victims, and all who knew them. The survivors. The family of the shooter. So much trauma that will take a lifetime of years to heal. The shooter himself. What broke him to this point of insane hopelessness? No healthy person wakes up one morning and decides to plot a massacre.

I wonder if God ever regrets His vulnerable, loving choice to entrust us with free will? Most of the time, I understand His wanting friends and co-collaborators instead of puppets. But when human will goes rabid and we hate and destroy each other, I can't help but wonder if I'd rather live under a dictator than a Father.

I confess, sometimes I am angry at Him. As if this messy, hurting world is His doing instead of ours. But it is our doing, Lord have mercy.

And even the space of one day is crammed with breath-taking proof of this consoling truth:

God has not abandoned us in the mess we've made. His presence is still here. With us. On this planet. Walking the streets and fields of our neighborhoods. His hands are still at work.

While I was still wondering why God lets us choose to hurt each other, I was telling one of my teens how proud I was of her. Her determination to inflict as much pain as she has received is gone. She stands proudly, bright face and clear eyes. Her pride in her new determination to make choices that respect both herself and the people around her is vibrant and evident. 

During a training session on mental health diagnoses, one of my favorite co-workers told his story of grief, loss, and teen years in lock-up. He's overcome behavior disorders, dyslexia, and lack of parental support to become one of the kindest, safest people I know. 

A phone call from a friend left me in awe and worship. Prayers for change and wholeness in the lives of people I love are years in the answering, but here they are. 

Maybe I can't understand why God doesn't intercept human will when it wreaks swathes of horror, but I know this: He is still at work, calling us into relationship with Himself and with each other. Relationships that shape our wills into our greatest empowerment for wholeness. 

There aren't quick fixes and easy answers for suffering. There simply are not. But there is a God of patience, dirty hands, re-shaped lives, and a sort of wholeness that is a beautiful offering to others. 

God is still at work. And we get to choose to help Him. 

Bloom

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. 

Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. 

If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, 

not even to an animal. 

Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; 

lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. 

But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. 

It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

-C.S. Lewis

The Bigger Truth

It's true. 

Earth groans with the weight

Of horrifying twistedness.

But, already, 

The untwisting redemption

Has sprouted and grown. 

Even the darkest dark

Burnishes the brilliance

Of all else:

The good, the wholesome,

The honest, peaceful,

Safe, and loving. 

In the Resurrection Scheme of Things

[adorable little packages tied up in string sent to me by my amazing friend & cousin, Sharon]

"...let me tell you something wonderful, 

a mystery I'll probably never fully understand. 

We're not all going to die—but we are all going to be changed. 

You hear a blast to end all blasts from a trumpet, 

and in the time that you look up and blink your eyes—

it's over. 

On signal from that trumpet from heaven, 

the dead will be up and out of their graves, 

beyond the reach of death, 

never to die again. 

At the same moment 

and in the same way, 

we'll all be changed. 

In the resurrection scheme of things, this has to happen: 

everything perishable taken off the shelves 

and replaced by the imperishable, 

this mortal 

replaced 

by the immortal. 

Then the saying will come true: 

   'Death swallowed by triumphant Life! 

   Who got the last word, oh, Death? 

   Oh, Death, who's afraid of you now?'

It was sin that made death so frightening 

and law-code guilt that gave sin its leverage, 

its destructive power. 

But now 

in a single 

victorious 

stroke of Life, 

all three

—sin, guilt, death—

are gone, 

the gift of our Master, 

Jesus Christ. 

Thank God!

With all this going for us, 

my dear, dear friends, 

stand your ground. 

And don't hold back. 

Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, 

confident 

that 

nothing 

you do for him 

is a waste of time 

or effort."

- I Cor. 15:51-58, The Message

Whole & Broken

It always seems to me a wee bit tragic to crack eggs open.

Whole, they are perfection.

I love their shape, their range of calm colors,

the way their matte shells play with light,

their smooth roundness in my hands.

But,

whether they are fertilized and warmed

or cartoned and chilled,

they only fulfill their destiny of nourishment 

when they're broken. 

I've been thinking about forgiveness.

My friend Julie told me that I need to forgive someone.

She's right. 

We often hear how we need to forgive

in order to be whole. 

That's true.

But why does forgiveness feel like 

breaking open

when someone has really, really hurt me

and hasn't asked for pardon

even when I tried to move

toward restoration?

Maybe my silent breaking

will nourish a chance of new life

for that person.

Maybe that freedom from who I want her to be,

my making peace with who she is,

is as much about 

her redemption 

as it is 

about mine?

I'm thinking,

maybe,

it's good to be 

cracked.

resurrection love

[from the top of my book case, signs of spring]

"so even as we see the horror of death,

may we be reminded that, in the end,

love wins.

mercy triumphs.

life is more powerful than death.

and even those who have committed great violence

can have the image of God come to life again

within them

as they hear the whisper of love.

may the whisper of love grow louder

than the thunder of violence.

may we love loudly."

-shane claiborne, in Jesus for President

flowers in snow

life brims with the friction of contrast

breathe it in

all ripping and sweet

'way deep down to the very place

where your lungs end

first thoughts for Advent

Sometimes God shows up in the expected places. 


In the written Word or through His servants. 


Still, He seeps in through the corners of the world.


In a tree by the river into whose bark one whispers secrets. 


Into the hungry eyes of a homeless woman holding her contented child. 


Into the unmarried womb of a virgin, to take form as the illegitimate Son of Man. 


With His presence He sparks mystery in the ordinary, dignity in suffering sacrifice, 


and endows dignity and glory to shame.

[this tiny stone starts mental avalanches from my kitchen windowsill when i wash dishes]

a winner and a discovery

... And entry #5 is...

Andrea Esh!

Congratulations, Andrea! If it's OK with you, I'll bring "Little Miss Kenya" along when I'm in your area next weekend and deliver her to your door. :)

Thank you all for participating. I wish I could give you the joy of giving the money TO the family! I am having way too much fun facilitating this! I'll post a total amount donated later... a few dear people contacted me and said they would like to give later.

Fun fact: the http://www.random.org/ site I've always used for giveaways is based at Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland! I'm not sure why I never noticed that before, but it made me feel all affectionate toward the site. Because I was THERE! On Trinity's stunning campus. Here is proof:

Trinity's campus is stunning...

I would feel like I could aspire to be the female C.S. Lewis if I studied in these buildings...

Or, at the very least, Jane Austen. 

So that was my little happy discovery just now. 

Someday I hope to go back to Ireland. You know how all those Irish ballads like "Paddy's Green Shamrock Shore" are all mournful and speak of the land like a long-lost lover or family member? I loved the songs, but thought they were just a bit melodramatic. They aren't. I get it now. 

Also, someday, I will post pictures of my idyllic sojourn in Ireland this summer... and of Gideon & Esther's wedding, for those of you who have been so patiently waiting. 

goodbye, summer...

goodbye, flowers. both inside

... and outside.

goodbye local fruit...

... and long breakfasts on the porch.

goodbye, idyllic afternoons spent lying on the ground with nothing to do but...

... watch clouds charge by like horses in slow motion through the blue sky behind green leaves.

goodbye, sandy toes and weekly trips to Presque Isle.

goodbye, sweet summer

and oh,

welcome, fall!

Rainy Evening

Living on a cobbled street is always charming.

On rainy evenings, it's mystical and romantic.