an Exploration of Travel Alternatives

I have a problem. I would love to go home this weekend. No, that's not the problem. The problem is that I need a mode of transportation that is easy, fast, and does not require funds or the use of a vehicle.

With brain-storm clouds billowing overhead, I have been exploring alternate modes of transportation:

1) Mental Travmosis, the process whereby distance, space, and time are conquered through a concentration of violently stalwart mental exertion

2) Email Attachmentality, a relatively simple procedure into which one's physicality is decoded into data which can be attached to an email much like a mere document. Upon the email's arrival at its destination, the data is downloaded and reconstructed to return one to bodily form.

In the midst of my explorations, I was, by Chris Miller, introduced to a truly superior alternative. Study carefully this detailed chart, containing an astonishing explication of the Highly Complex Transportation System:

I think you, dear readers, will agree that change is coming. Can we remedy the irksome confinements of our deceptively unavoidable reliance upon vehicles? Yes, we can!