sabotage

hold up your hand
to block out the sun
put your hand down
and look what you've done
i know this talking wasted someone
i know this time was wasted hating me
and killing me
you know it's sabotage

you know it's sabotage

why does that snake
keep hanging around?
here comes my girl
to show what she's found
we went down that road
looking for a new sound
looking for peace
but that's not what we found
we found sabotage

we found sabotage

-"sabotage", by james clay

Just like Adam and Eve, we think we have The Alternative. For countless generations, we've demonstrated an astounding propensity to sabotage ourselves. Trying to protect myself, I find my heart numb. I watch those I fiercely love make devastating choices, chasing happiness. People killing each other over land and prejudice. What does it leave us? Shrunken, tired, listless.

My heavy heart and I sat in church last Sunday, trying to stop processing the sad events of the previous two days and actually listen to the message on the feasts of Leviticus. Suddenly it dawned on me... the feasts were proof of the GOOD that God wanted for His people. The celebrations of harvest, the remembering of deliverance... times of celebrating God's abundant heart toward them, times to spend time with people... times to draw near to God. Funny, how my alternatives usually expunge one or all three of those necessities.

I, for one, am tired of sabotage. Instead, I want to "run the way of [God's] commandments, then [He] will enlarge my heart." (Ps. 119:32) That's what I want, a heart that keeps enlarging... a heart big enough to love all people, all creation... a heart that lives increasingly in the presence of God... a heart able to believe and rejoice in Redemption, no matter how broken I... and those I love... are.