Saturday, September 10, 2011

something good

I should be working ahead on Algebra homework because I have a Psych exam on Thursday and I really and truly don't want to have to worry about my least favorite class while I study. Notice that I didn't use words like "hideous" and "malevolent" to describe Algebra. This is proof that my extremely right-brained mind is learning how to think in stringent procedures again... after not doing much math for seven years. Thank God.  But instead of solving equations, I am reading blogs and starting to process all that has happened in the past two weeks.

For the sake of privacy I will not say much here, but I think it's ok to admit that our families are broken. Maybe this is just in "plain", Mennonite circles, but the term "broken home" is often used to describe families whose parents are separated. I am choosing to not feel shame. I believe that every family is broken, just like every person is broken. Some types of "broken" are more visible than others. Even healthy, loving individuals and families can hurt each other and take each other for granted. This is something my closest friends have told me repeatedly since my mom left, and I feel it to be true.

When brokenness shows itself in nightmarish proportions, everything about life can feel wrong. It can be hard to imagine this, but

{made by me, so copy and paste if you like without fear of the copyright police}

Whether today's brokenness is job frustration, misunderstandings between people, sickness of someone you love, or grief over losing someone, all of us have our dark places. But please know this with certainty:

Something good is going to happen.

Every day.

Something good.

Something that proves that the world isn't completely hideous and that your life hasn't run into a gray cul-de-sac with the exit blocked by a toppled building. The world is hideous, but it is also beautiful. Look for the orange poppies under the tree on the east side of your cul-de-sac. They are there, and you will find them if you have eyes to see.

How do I know?

Because I know God to be a nurturing god of healing and redemption. Every time I get trapped in gray cul-de-sacs, I see Him working. Preserving. Healing. Making GOOD out of broken. He is the source of GOOD and WHOLE, and He is always here. I see him in my dad's care of his girls, my sisters' and my closer bond, the misty sunrises every morning, and (tonight!) a free concert of Chopin and Schubert's masterpieces.

Because something good is always going to happen, I can feel blows that break me and still say

 I will extol the LORD at all times;
   his praise will always be on my lips.
I will glory in the LORD;
   let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
Glorify the LORD with me;
   let us exalt his name together.

I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
   he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant;
   their faces are never covered with shame.
This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
   he saved him out of all his troubles.

The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
   and he delivers them.

Taste and see that the LORD is good;
   blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
Fear the LORD, you his holy people,
   for those who fear him lack nothing.
The lions may grow weak and hungry,
   but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.
Psalm 34:1-10


Eugene said...

'...she carries a pearl in perfect condition;
what once was hurt, what once was friction,
what left a mark, no longer stings -
because Grace makes beauty out of ugly things.'

Gina P said...

I hardly know you- but found your site thru my sis Jenn- and I needed to hear this post today, no matter who we are and what we have done- God still holds us and I cling to that promise" Something good will happen" Looking to God for the glory, God bless you- keep writing, you have a gift- Gina Peachey

Charis said...

I do not know you personally but have been blessed reading your blog and just wanted to say that I'm grateful for your openess...I will be praying for you..."He makes beautiful things out of dust..." we are just dust, clay in our Master's hand and how grateful I am that when we are broken He will take those pieces and make us beautiful for Him! with love and prayers sent your way ~ Charis

lily said...

just concern and yet uplifting moment that you have God to hold onto. Praying that you will know Him more as a Savior.

Anonymous said...

Becca, I just saw you once in my life in Ireland, but I will never forget you!! There is something about you that fascinates me and made me coruious to get to know you!! To me it seems that you live veeery close with GOD!! You always wore a smile, you were just nice and polite and attractive!!
I think, it is JESUS in you who makes you the way you appear! I know what you are talking about, when you say we have to be broken so that GOd can use us or is able to use us!! I was blessed in many ways by reading your noble and refreshing thoughts! How I wish I could get to know you more!! Do you know who I am? :-) (A tip: I am a girl :-))

Becca said...

Thank you all for your very kind words! Each of you blessed me!

Is the last post by Tatiana? I'm not sure if I spelled your name right, but I remember you. :) Wow, you really are too kind... but I am so encouraged to know that you saw Jesus in me!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, your guess was right!! :-DDTT Actually my name is spelled Tatjana but I'm called Tati :-))) I wish you this verse: "Delight yourself also in the LORD,and He shall give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4) IF you will delight in HIM, HIS WILL will become your will and as your desires will be according to HIS will, HE will fulfill your desires! May GOD bless this verse on you!!! :-))

Becca said...

Tati... your blessing seems almost like a prophesy. I get a little chokey with tears every time I re-read your comment. It fits perfectly with some very specific things I've been asking God lately. Bless your dear heart. Germany is lucky to have you, did you know that? :) God be present with you today...