I usually wait to blog until I have (what I consider) profound things to say or epic experiences to share. I consciously avoid posting (or even being around people very much) until I'm feeling benevolent, glowy, and on top of my game. When forced to communicate, I try to do a good job of pretending. I tell myself I'm being considerate of other people. I tell myself that I want to be the sort of person who doesn't add to the general depression and lack of sunshiny-ness around. Besides, who wants to air all their dirty laundry for the world to see? Not I. I'm too dignified, I say to myself.
So I've been thinking about that, and I'm pretty sure I'm proud.
Here's my confession for today:
Sometimes being who I want to be is not glamorous at all and I wonder if I'm even making a difference.
Sometimes I have a headache and do not feel in the least bit cheerful and positive.
Sometimes I'm mad at the people who hurt me and have to forgive again.
Sometimes I can't escape the fact that I need the forgiveness and redemption of Jesus just as much as everyone else.